By: Danielle Lucibello
A weekly series in which food only meant for hipsters and annoying elitists gets put in its place.
You know this one’s bad when you can’t even pronounce it (Ah-cai? Ah-sigh? Ah-see?). According to Google it’s ah-sigh. Which is basically what I do every time I see a picture of this floating around online.
This trend started recently last year. It’s the newest “healthy superfood” all your white-collar friends blog about on Instagram with multiple different filters and hashtags.
So what is it? It’s a smoothie made from Acai berries, topped with oats and a TON of fruit. You’re literally eating a smoothie bowl. What will hipsters think of next?
Yes, it is healthy. But when you’re in a rush to get to work at 6am, you don’t have the time, or the patience, to be chopping up fruit and decorating it oh-so-cutely. You’re gonna be like me and order a bacon-egg-and-cheese sandwich from Dunks with a large ice coffee and be full and happy. If you eat this…thing…you’ll be hungry again in an hour and be starving until your lunch break.
Who even has this much fruit in their house anyway?
So here’s why Acai actually sucks:
1. It’s a great way for a rando libertarian to start a conversation about how Jill Stein should be president
2. It goes really good with a grass smoothie…
4. If you’ve always wanted to eat food that looks like a kaleidoscope, here you go
5. It’s harder to eat than fruit by itself, if you want that I guess
6. Again, fruit salad is easier and better
7. Just buy a smoothie at this point