So, you managed to score tickets to the Garden. Congrats! In about a week you’ll use a day off on a Thursday game and take either your girlfriend, who knows nothing about the sport, or Carl: your goon best friend who can name every player and every stat this season.
Before you go and spend $30 on two Bud Lights per period/quarter, or have to bail Carl out for trying to hop the boards to “make the jumbotron,” there are other places and things to do before the B’s or the C’s that can make your night legendary… outside of Carl’s felony.
Get your ass to Halftime Pizza.
An absolute staple right across from TD Garden. Whether it’s the murals on the wall of countless Boston sports legends (Larry Bird anyone?) or the perfect slice before a game, this is the spot to hit up.
Of course, Carl will try and “become a legend himself” by stuffing his face with pizza until his vomit matches his the color of his KG jersey. Your girlfriend will ask who Isiah Thomas is, but will at least leave you an extra slice of the pie.
Take a picture with Bobby Orr.
At the time this article was published, they actually moved Bobby temporarily from his old spot of the front of TD Garden. Don’t worry, just a little down Causeway street you can still visit one of the most iconic sports statues ever built.
Get a picture with the icon who symbolizes Boston sports greatness and show off the pic to your buddies before heading into the game. Your girlfriend will ask “is that the Walter Gretzky guy?” while Carl disrespectfully climbs it, getting quickly ripped off by three other fans. You can’t take people anywhere these days.
Enjoy the (entire) North End before and after the game.
While you’re in the North End, you might as well enjoy the food and nightlife since it’s got everything. Top notch Italian, check. Other sports bars and pubs to watch the Pats/Sox beforehand, check.
Treat your girl to the best dinner she’s had in her life and earn serious brownie points in her book. Hurricane Carl is manageable when there are also six other bouncers at Sullivan’s Tap who won’t tolerate him harassing the four Knicks fans (or god forbid Habs fans) unfortunate enough look in Carl’s direction.
See a win live.
It’s one thing to see the B’s or C’s roll over a team on TV, but the magic of watching it live is unexplainable until you witness yourself. The nerves, excitement, cheering, all of it makes for a thrilling, incredible experience.
Whether it’s an Isaiah Thomas buzzer beater, or a Marchand breakaway for the win, nothing is better than seeing the Boston sports tradition of winning in live-action.
That sweet “W” makes your girlfriend asking who the same players are over and over again bearable. You got to see sweet victory, and that’s all that matters.
Carl even was able to nearly miss falling off the upper balcony after attempting to do the wave while standing on his seat.
That’s a damn good day to have.