You wake up at the ass-crack of dawn and wonder “why do I put up with this crap?”
If only there was magical ailment to your morning troubles before you head on-site. Something to make the work you actually complete, bearable. And on the seventh day, the Lord said, “Let there be Dunkin’ Donuts.”
Whether it’s your morning + cig stop, or your afternoon + cig break, or even your rare late night coffee after working overtime, Dunks delivers that kick you need to just make it through your day.
Your Dunkin’ beverage of choice is actually a great tell about what type of person you are:
You can hang out in any situation, and generally mind your own business. More likely than not, you’re the most level headed guy in the group and are usually the great equalizer. Some bum talks smack to one of your buddies, you handle it. One of your buddies talks smack to some bum for no reason? You’re making sure the scene doesn’t turn into Sugar Ray’s boxing camp. Probably a foreman.
Dunkin’ Extra Large:
The day starts slow for you but you live larger than life. When you finally wake up fully around 1pm, you’re firing on all cylinders. If you’re asked to do something, you finish ten minutes early. You’re eating more, drinking more, and just plain doing more in life than regular folk. You’re not satisfied if you don’t have the biggest fish or the most goals scored during a pickup hockey game. However, your lifestyle requires gallons of good ol’ Dunks coffee to sustain it.
Dunkin’ Iced during the Winter:
If Massachusetts was a person, you’d be it because of your habit to drink cold caffeine water in 20-degree weather. Rain, sun, sleet, or snow, your caffeine addiction trumps all seasons. It’s not that you’re a coffee person, you just need the quickest way to consume massive amounts of caffeine in the shortest time possible. You’re impatient and can name the entire active roster for the Pats, B’s, Celtics, and Sox in under two minutes. You find Good Will Hunting jokes to be actual insults against your lifestyle choices.
You’re actually 12 years old. You were born in the year 2005 and just finished your little league game. Even though you didn’t get a single run your mom and dad congratulated you on a 11-0 loss and treated you to Dunks. No one over the age of 18 should be having these (unless you’re alone where your buddies can’t rip on you, that’s when you buy one because they’re delicious.)
We’ll be back for Part 2 shortly, comment and share your thoughts about what you think a Dunkie’s drink says about people!